Friday morning 0338hrs and i'm still not asleep. Sigh this inaliblity to sleep is really starting to piss me off badly! I hate being awake now. I just hate it. Apart from the 1.5hrs tram ride to bundoora and back, now i have even more time to think of nonsensical stuffs. When is all of these going to end? I hate it!! being in such a situation! I feel so stupid, so narrow minded , so damm sad. I think i had even gotten the wrong playlist of songs to serenate me to bed.
Have you ever - brandy
On bended knees - BoyZIIman
All that i need - boyzone
Everything i do i do it for you - bryan adams.
etc etc etc
Screw it! why do i need to be so emotional in the first place. I dont have the farKinG right! Wouldnt things have been better if i had not fallen into this? I am confused. I dont know whether if what i'm doing is right or wrong. Questions left unanswered, doubts left floating , emotions going haywire. Is this the way it should be? Why cant I be in control of myself more. Or better still, what had happened to the once numbed, out of feelings, dried of emotions dan? Maybe I was happier then. Was I truly happy? I've got no idea. BUt i do know that i have had a few weeks of pure happiness. Maybe i should live with the fact that happiness is always short lived.
"
stones taught me to fly
love taught me to lie
life taught to die
so its not hard to fall, when you float like a cannonball.
"
And yet with a simple start of a conversation, my mood totally changes. Its is really an emotional rollercoaster ride. Damm i really hate myself. Nvm.. let write about something happy to clear the atmosphere abit.
Well, today i've made another friend! So happy! Yvonne! She's a Singaporean and was from SP Aero too! But apparently she was here since the start of the year. Ok she does seem like a pretty quiet person but well, it cant be helped i guess. Its our first time talking to her. Haha! lets see, since i came here, how many new friends have i made? Esther and that is all thanks to jiahui! thanks for intro esther to me !! now got another squash kaki! And Thanks to Esther for introing Joanne too! Then i have to thank my dad somehow for intro-ing me his malaysian's colleque daughter, Jennifier who actually stays 6 rooms away from Nick and myself. Hahah! ANd thanks to Jennifier for letting us know her cliche of friends although i dont think i can recall all their names. But they do seem like vv nice pple! Then there's of cos Aaron who was from our cohort of Aeronautical students. Hmm.. the squashers in rmmiT..well.. they seem pretty cold.. but it would really be great if i can get to know ben , jacky better? shrugZ. This squash team is realy alittle cold..And speaking of squash, i think nick and myself are able to join in the Australian Uni Games in September and the games will be conducted in Cold coast! hOW CoOl is that? But sad to say, there's a $$ requirement. Its $$450 for 5 days worth of acoomodations, 2 dinners. And that does not include the transport fees. OuCh.. its kinda painful in my pocket now. OH back to friends.. there's also Kelvin, a Singaporean from my project group in aerosystems, Nick from Thailand and Feng a Pr here but he was from China though. So overall i guess its not too bad right? well.. slowly slowly bah. Although i must say i do miss sg and i really really miss sg but oh well..what to do.
"
if we hold on together
i know our dreams would never die
dreams see us through to forever
when clouds roll over
for you and I
" If we hold on together - Diana Ross ?
Hmm, i guess i'm feeling slightly happier now but really..what should i do? hai
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